King Petty Alert. Thats right, I am some ish on this one, so as a disclaimer, if
you‘re not ready please leave. We talkin on this one. Ohhhhhh Yes. Lot of slang so keep up with me people.
Greasy, Glistening, Sparkly, Shiny, Slick, Conniving, Dirty, Grimy, etc. You see people these gents take the cake. Just looking “guilty”or looking like “you did it” is enough for me to charge you with excessive greasiness. People who fit this criteria don’t know that they are greasy. Hell you might actually be one of them. Hahaha. There’s a few people I left off like Bobby Brown, Easy E, Teddy Riley Kirk Franklin,etc. Greasiness don’t necessarily mean that you’re a bad person. You can just look greasy. Greasiness can be hereditary and it is curable by soaking in a tub full of dawn while washing your draws. Hahahaha. All in jokes folks and you know us black people love to clown. So here’s my list.
10. Rappin 4-Tay
Rappin 4-Tay looks like the kind of cat to steal some money from you, right before he asks you for a dollar. Just Trifilin’ looking y’all. Hide ya wallets.
9. Lionel Richie
Oh Lionel, Ya High Yella Ass is not exempt. You can try and swoon all the ladies but I see through you. So you can take your sly greasiness and go somewhere.
8. Jesse Jackson Sr.
Yea you pug looking, not catching Martin Luther Da Kang Jr, Stealing money from black folks, Conniving, fake ass Mike Epps looking ass. Ohhhh Jesse Jackson is sholl Greasy. He looks like he would give your wife a hug and steal her pearls at the same time. In the words of Cedric the Entertainer in Barbershop “Man F*&$% Jesse Jackson.
7. Bootsy Collins
Yes I’m hating on you Bootsy, you an alright brotha but you look mighty shiny. Hell No you can’t borrow my pillowcase nor a spare toothbrush.
6. Phil Lewis aka TC from the Wayans Bros.
Oh yes, TC was the Grimiest cat in TV history. With his gold teeth and his experienced polyester blends, this cat would flat out sell you your own kids just to ask for child support. Watch out for TC y’all. Looking like he can’t be near an open flame. Hahaha.
5. Clifton Powell aka PINKY NUCCA
Yaaaasssss (I see you Lady G) Pinky is the ultimate hustler. To bad he didn’t take some strides or oxygen pads to that forehead before he decided to leave the house. Ohhhhhh he is Grimy looking. I’m talking bout peeing in the kiddie pool Grimy. Say anotha word Nucca!!
4. David Ruffin
David Ruffin is greasy for so many reasons. Drugs and domestic violence aside, David Ruffin telling the Temptations that they ain’t sh#t without David Ruffin is the most classic line of all time. He looks like he would steal all ya mama’s hair products in the middle of the night, with rollers in his hair still.
3. Ron Isley
OHHH Ron Isley watched R. Kelly pee on that girl, yall know he did. King Swindle at his finest. With his tax evading, hot comb using, fake preacher having self. Just Trifilin. Man stay away from him. Lmfao Mr. Big is gonna find you.
2. Rick James
Any cat with a cigarette hanging out they mouth fits the above criteria. We all know Rick’s antics so we will just skip to #1.
#1. Jermaine Jackson
No one will ever out Glisten Jermaine. He takes greasy to the moon with his clay like, molded, tickle me Elmo sweater wearing, not showering but just spraying on some brut, having ass. Yes he needs to be power washed, chisled with a jack hammer and rubbed down in some downy dryer sheets Just greasy. You can just smell his leathery, botox, fake plastic self from this side of the smartphone. Y’all better not be looking at this with A Galaxy Note 7 because u just might blow up. Hahahahhaahahahahah
So there you have it folks. Tune in next time for the Grimiest ladies of all time. Ohhhhhh huh Who will make the list