Exactly Why You Aren’t Happy

For the last 20 years or so, advertisements for big name companies have gone on aggressive ad campaigns.

Nike told you to Just do it

Pepsi told you to Live for the moment

Burger King told you to Have it your way

And so many other companies have told you, your life wasn’t good enough, while planting seeds of consumerism. Essentially you can Only improve your life with their particular product.

Fast forward to the modern era, where “reality” shows, ladened with talent deficient people you hadn’t heard of before, seeming to be living glamorously, are on television living it up, and you just got home — from work.

Now lets take it over to social media, where people you know, have built successful fake lives on the internet. Yes, we have reached the pinnacle of your senses being under attack for decades now, with messages telling you how unhappy you are. Think about it.

When I was in fourth grade, I got teased for not having the latest brand name shoes on. I was unaware I was supposed to. I was told my family was broke, on welfare among many other things. This kind of teasing went on around America at every age, I’m sure. Today I realize, that this was learned behavior. It all starts at home. These aren’t things you innately have in you.

As a kid, you’re oblivious to a lot of adult themed topics, until someone makes you aware of it.

So it begins. A life of feeling you aren’t worthy. Feeling as though everything you have, and everything you own, isn’t good enough. A burden most people carry with them, deep into adulthood. However once you are aware of it, you can begin the process of gratitude. Being happy about the little things.

Good health, vision, hearing, and so many other things we need to be thankful for if we are lucky enough to have. Why? Because not everybody in the world woke up this morning. Appreciate life. When it’s over, or you’re at the end, you’ll wish you had.

These companies want your money. These reality shows and social media want your attention. For money. Most of the messages you receive have something to do with money.

So every time you feel unhappy, or you feel like your life hasn’t panned out the way you imagined, let this little article be a reminder, that you have live according to you. Your happiness depends on you, not them.✌🏿

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Self Hate & The Truth about Colorism: The Hidden Levels of Blackness

AlightAAhhh Yes. This was a long time coming. It’s School Daze all over again. Light Skint Vs. Dark Skint. Real Nigga Vs. Black Guys like me. Jokingly it is very funny and I have no problem with the jokes,but it is when people actually feel this way about each other. Imagine being me for a day growing up. Yes I’m light Skint and I’m proud. Does that comes with any benefits? Yes. Honestly it does. I’m not going to lie about it. There is a lot of cocky arrogant Light Skint Brothas who have a lot of self hate about themselves. Problem is when a Light Skint Brotha is cocky, he gets called all kind of bad names. When a darker Brotha does it, it’s ok!  But somehow in todays Black culture Light Skint has been labeled weak or frail. Nevermind that Muhammed Ali, Huey Newton, Malcolm X, William Alexander Leidesdorff are all Light Skint. But because of the Drakes, The Chris Browns, The Steph Currys, The Klay Thompsons, The Yung Bergs, We are critiqued for their actions. We can’t let them speak for an entire race of people, right? By today’s standards we are not labeled as strong. The “They’re not one of us.” mentality has got to stop.
There are a lot of people of different backgrounds who genuinely want to help the Black community. I say this because is it possible to forgive someone who was a racist? Is it wrong to label all white people as bad or evil? Of course it is. Not every Black person is named Jaquita or La’Shawn right? If we as black people do not want to be stereotyped than shouldn’t we do the same thing? It is tricky depending on where you live but one of my greatest philosophies that I live by is this: “Never judge someone off of a first impression.. You don’t know what that person is going through that day.”

 

 

 

 

niggers.png I get called NIGGER the same way as my darker counterpart. Light Skint people within the African-American community has been the laughing-stock. Would you tell Malcolm X that “That is some Light Skinned shit?” So does being Dark Skint gives you a pass for certain actions or vice versa? I would be oblivious to think or to say that colorism within our own community doesn’t exist. It sure in the fuck does. Black comes in different shades. Different Hues. But we are constantly labeled. (I mean WE as black people.) Growing up I wished that I could be called light-skinned American instead of African-American. Truth be told I’m glad I didn’t harbor those feelings into adulthood. White Boy, High Yella, House Nigga, Massah’s Boy, Uncle Tom etc. The shit didn’t bother me for the longest time. Until today.
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We All come in different colors

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It’s a challenge to be me sometimes. Supporting black businesses, reading about lost black history, dating within my race, dating outside of my race. Black community are fearful it seems of homosexuality, not being a Christian, not identifying with a lot of common stereotypes, other races, crying, seeing a therapist and not conforming to the status quo. It is taboo. So if I don’t like Pigs feet, or Chiterlins, am I not Black? If I don’t like basketball am I not Black? If I played the guitar and like Lacrosse, am I not Black? If I don’t date a black woman am I not black? (In a lot of people’s eyes, Yes) I love black women but do they love me? Let’s use my life for example before we go any further. I’ve been trying to date black women but for a lot of ladies that I’ve encountered, my lifestyle didn’t fit them. I am a single father of 3 kids and 2 of them are autistic. Not one black lady is knocking at my door to help me raise my children or start a new family. I don’t smoke weed, I don’t go to clubs, I don’t hang out on the block, I don’t do any drugs, I don’t watch B.E.T., I don’t like being in big crowds at times, but some how, black culture deems that soft, or deems that weird. “Oh Tareau, you’re not hood enough. You’re not a real nigga!” So if you are constantly told this by numerous of women you encountered, what would you do? You shouldn’t have to change who you are to please some one. And no these aren’t the unfortunate hood rat girls that are constantly a large misrepresentation of black women. Some of these were college educated women, entrepeneurs etc. Granted these women do not make up all of black women. It would be ignorant to label everyone like that. I have even thought of moving to where there are more black women. I’ve searched high and low believe me, but I haven’t found it. When I date outside of my race, a lot of Black women from my past gets upset. The same ones who weren’t giving me any time. At the end of the day, you love who you love. When I see a white man with a black woman I don’t care nor do I have any ill will. I don’t care honestly who a stranger is dating. Maybe that’s just in my twisted head but I think if we look at the big picture, we will stop self imploding each other from within. I once was told by my ex that I need to change to understand Black women better. This stemmed from an argument about hair. She had beautiful dreadlocks, long great smelling, healthy locks, and she asked my how I would feel if she cut them and got a weave. I personally do not like weaves. They freak me out. I told her exactly what I just told you guys. All hell broke loose. I told her that it’s her hair and at the end of the day I will miss her locks, but Weaves gross me out. (Just by the fact that it’s not your hair) She then went off on me. Boy she let me have it. So here we have one of the most beautiful hair style within the African culture (dreadlocks) and I showed dismay because she wanted to cut them off for this…..

 

 In todays cultural accepting world (or lack thereof) there is a fight within the fight. Almost every race has different shades to them but us as black people project those differences with either hate or love. An example of hate is Yung Bergs Dumbass comments. An example of Love would be on the movie Precious where Gabourey Sildibe professes her love for a light-skint man in a fantasy.  “My name is Clarice Precious Jones. I want to be on the cover of a magazine. I wish I had a light-skinned boyfriend with good hair. But first I want to be in one of those BET videos, and we see a fantasy sequence of her dressed in a photo-shoot, accompanied with a light-skinned boyfriend (who will be in all her future movie sequences.) She also says I ‘m gonna break through, someone is going to break through to me, ima be normal and sit in the front of the class.”  And her being a darker skinned lady, It’s never a dual equality on the color spectrums of being black. I remember listening the late Notorious BIG’s ex-wife talk about Biggie being “color Struck” in an interview. Saying after her, his women were all lighter (Lil Kim, Charli Baltimore, and Faith Evans) Nina Simone who was a beautiful chocolate complexion, was played by Zoe Saladana. Although Zoe is bi-racial, Hollywood racially type casted her to play the great Nina Simone. Was not Ledisi available?  Here’s another example. President Barack Obama is the 1st African-American President, right? Some people says things like “Well would he have won if he was darker?” or “He’s not a real nigga!” Truth be told does any of that matter? I’m no die-hard Barack Obama fan but if that’s the case why aren’t people voting for Herman Cain or Ben Carson? They are darker than I am but some how if we are going to name call, we should do it right, right? I rarely hear my fellow dark-skinned brethren call those 2 gentleman names but are constantly attack our President’s white lineage. Brothas and Sisters we can’t control our skin color, parents, race, or lineage. We are doing Willie Lynch’s job for him. Today We should be able to not give in to such stereotypes, but we are constantly challenging each other for the reins of our Negro Kingdom.
I share with you my thoughts because the future of our children are misled. I wish at times everyone was like my twin sons who are autistic. On the spectrum there is no racism, there is no colorism, there is no religion. It’s just their world. They don’t have a clue that they are black. (or half) do you think I care? Hell no. Do you think they care? Hell no. I realize that this will never stop. I am only sharing with you my experiences in my lifetime and my views on things. You can totally disagree with everything I just said. At least you would know that I respect the agree to disagree statement. I said all this because one day my daughter who is bi racial will not have to question her ethnicity. I am trying to lay the foundation down to prevent an identity crises. I can’t control how she looks. Family members who I don’t talk to would say “she doesn’t look black at all!” Granted she does favor her mother (mother was Salvadoran) but that right there will give you a complex on who you are. Will the Black community accept her? Will the Latino community accept her? I thought this through and through and the answer is no. No to both. but that doesn’t mean she can’t be carefree and live a great life. She knows about racism and colorism. But does she know about this world that is hidden in plain sight? I think we know the answer to that……….