The boys morning routine

Hey there everybody. Enjoying your Saturday? What’s for breakfast and where is my plate at? Smdh. Well anyways, here’s a quick video on how my mornings with my sons are usually. Check it out real quick.

https://youtu.be/5X86fDVBbbE

Advertisements

Saving money with T-Money Part #2

It’s funny because, when you Google couponing and people saving money, you don’t see a big, HANDSOME black dude, right??? Hahahhaha. What you don’t believe me? Here’s the link of Google images. 

https://www.google.com/search?q=people+couponing&client=ms-android-att-us&prmd=vin&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiT3trHgZbSAhVHsFQKHcoFD8IQ_AUICCgC&biw=360&bih=560

Just think, there’s a coupon for almost everything. I’ve used coupons on dates 😉😉, I’ve used coupons on health care, on fuel, on tires, oil changes, etc. You name it, I’ve used a coupon for. But I must shout this statement from the highest peaks:

THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH SAVING MONEY. BUT REMEMBER QUALITY > QUANTITY. YOU WOULDN’T GO TO THE DOLLAR STORE FOR DETERGENTS, MEATS, FEMININE PRODUCTS, PROPHYLACTIC ETC. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. 😤

Well now that I’m done being petty, below is a video of me exiting Safeway and showing off my savings. Please Enjoy. And as always, leave feedback. I appreciate everyone’s views, likes, concerns, qualms, comments, and suggestions.
https://youtu.be/XL0poGeVkVw click link 

Tareau’s Petty List of arguments 

We worry so much in life, right? Bills, health insurance, car notes, rent, mortgage, children, etc. Well it’s time for some dam comedy. Yes yours truly, the  MOST STRAIGHT, PETTIEST MAN aka PETTYKANG is here to help. So check this out. 

Who doesn’t love a good argument? Especially when you are either on the winning side, or watching from afar. I miss on TV AND movies in my day, seeing people get TOLD DA F#$% OFF. Here are some of my favorite arguments or people getting told off or checked. 

https://youtu.be/aoN01umawRM
Honorable Mention: Set it off. Luther tells off poor Kimberly Elise and is the worst boss to work for. It’s all good, he gets what’s coming to him, but this part had me in tears!

https://youtu.be/nBxvDJXBSVE
10. A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. Yes and yes. Lynn Whitfield was a different kind of crazy. Man she is scary. I love this scene. Lmfao how she was provoking mama though.

https://youtu.be/3zspHbAk4Og
9. Bebe’s Kids. I really could put the whole movie, but when she told he about her ashyiness, it was over with. And she Hella caught the lotion bottle too. 

https://youtu.be/vudUSoBp_2s
8. House Party 1. Man I miss Robin Harris. This was my favorite scene because he Hella checked dude who thought he was gonna get a free pass for saying that he was a Muslim. Hahahaha. 

https://youtu.be/UCKjY37qxsY
7. Lean on Me. So Mr. Clark thinks he’s the HNIC, HUH? 

https://youtu.be/sWyLHU4ZaN0
6. Lean on Me. The origin of HNIC

https://youtu.be/z33wa1v_Pfg
5. Lean on Me. So what we not gonna have is a militant Black man as an incumbent principal tryna check a sistah. No sir. 

https://youtu.be/LqPbEOKzzUA

4. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Now this is a lighter side of an argument but man RIP James Avery. I would have loved to see James Avery and James Earl Jones in a shouting match.

https://youtu.be/DZ9PXG56WgA
3. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Will’s  face as he was instigating though. Little tiny onions swimming in a sea of gravy. 

https://youtu.be/AW9pklBXqk4
2. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. When The Real Aunt Viv, took her earrings off though. 

Bonus!!!!!

 https://youtu.be/2ZnbmWSkO7Y 

The Temptations Movie. You tell em David Ruffin. Ain’t nobody checking for Otis’ punk ass.

https://youtu.be/67NWq0AUwpc
1. Poetic Justice. I would never argue Regina King. I’m petty but not dumb. Man she is so fine and good with these roles, right?

Well this was just a random list. What would yours be? Please comment below. I will add more in the near future, until then remember Pettiness is hereditary 😁😁😁😁😁😁😊


Movie Review #16: The Lego Batman Movie

Lmfao, I’m still in tears because of this movie. Wait but hold on! Y’all don’t believe me about sneaking food in, huh?

Yea, with the sauce too! What? Yea I said it. Them Egg Rolls didn’t make it past the pre-previews. You know what I’m talking about? How you go watch a movie, and the are showing games and TV shows and the movie lights are still on? No one out pettys the “PETTYKANG” 
Anyways, this movie had me in tears. How the hell is Batman, gonna talk ish the first 57 seconds of the movie? Please go see this in 3d too. It is awesome. Ok so the story is Batman (voiced by Will Arnett) is obviously lonely and needs to get a sense of familial ties. Due to him being an orphan, he never let anyone close to him. Alfred (voiced by Ralph Fiennes) suggests that Batman needs to develop a relationship with a lady and start having kids. Batman talks shit the whole movie about not needing anyone. Anyways, while protecting Gotham from the Joker (voiced by Zach Galifianakis), Joker is hell bent on not only destroying the city but, getting Batman’s approval that Batman and the Joker can not coexist without each other. In other words, Joker is saying that Batman needs him. Quickly, Batman shuts that down and tells Joker that he is “Fighting multiple people at once and that he can’t commit to just having one nemesis” I was in tears with all the innuendo going on. 

Meanwhile Commissioner Gordon (voiced by Hector Elizondo) is having a retiring party and the new Police Commissioner will be his daughter, Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl (voiced by Rosario Dawson). While at the ball, Batman befriends a young orphan boy named Dick Grayson aka Robin (voiced by Michael Cera) and agrees to adopt him due to Batman being overly attracted to Barbara Gordon. 

Now the plot thickens when Barbara, suggests to Gotham City that they don’t need Batman because she has a degree and she knows crime statistics. She also points out that all of Batman’s enemies are still on the loose and that Gotham City is the most crime riddled city in the world, with Batman. The Joker has a diabolical plan to get arrested and for to jail, knowing Batman will send him to the Phantom Zone, Joker can hire, “Dependable Bad Guys.” 

This movie talks multiple shots at Superman, Iron Man, and other Superheroes. Btw the cheesy music and little side jokes are hilarious. Did you know Batman doesn’t pay his taxes? Shhhhhhhh. This movie is an A and the reason why it doesn’t get an A+, is because Batman is just an asshole with too much money and unlimited resources and he doesn’t pay taxes. If you shot Batman in the head, he would die. He’s no (let’s see, just off the top of my head) Wolverine. Take that Dave.

Saving money with T-Money

https://youtu.be/31j4cNwlIfQ (Click link)
So you want to know how I do it huh? Ancient Chinese secrets my dude. Haha, naw. Here in San Francisco, it is the most expensive city to live in. The average median income is about $105k and the average 2 Bedroom Apartment is about $4,200 a month. Minimum wage within the city is $13.50 an hour and this is due to San Francisco being a city/state. The economy is great here in San Francisco and I have to thank my moms for raising me to be a survivor. Forcing me to grocery shopping at the age of 5, I knew about balancing and budgeting at a young age. Now factor in with the cost of living being high, goods and services are high too. You just gotta know how to maneuver in the City. For instance, if any of you guys ever visit, 1st thing you do is call or email me. I used to be a tour guide and I’m a native of this city for 34 years now I’ll tell you what hotel to stay in and what to expect etc. Where to go, where not to go. 2nd thing is you never buy fuel in San Francisco. Or get a rental car. I go outside of the city limits to do a lot of the shopping. Sales tax within the city is 8.5%. 

So one way of survival is couponing. Yes being thrifty and frugal is how you can breathe easily especially when you are living paycheck to paycheck. Like, Share, leave comments, please!✌

Tareau’s top 20 TV theme songs of all time.

Petty king has arrived and is fresh off of beating his coworkers in bowling. Ok truth time I won the 1st game and lost the 2nd game. Enough with that, time to be petty. Dave drops jewels on Funky Fresh Fridays, so I’m feeling left out. With regards to Married With Children, Fresh Prince, Family Matters, Amen, 227, Different World, The Cosby Show, What’s Happening, Good Times, I Living Color, Martin, Living Single, and a slew of others, I wanted to include these. So I present to you my favorite TV theme songs of all time. Let’s get it.

https://youtu.be/JR5zFiIxqSs (Click link)
20. Doug So don’t act like you didn’t like this great theme song. Doug with his cast of friends. Skeeter, Patty Mayonnaise, Mr. Dink, Roger and let’s remember hanging out at the Honker Burger.

https://youtu.be/ogMBLRHJYXU

19. Captain Planet. Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, Heart, Go planet. (Nobody wanted to be Mati because heart was lame) hahahaha. Whoopi Goldberg was Gaia. Remember Captain Planet’s evil doppelganger Captain Pollution. I loved how Kwame was the leader and he was from Africa.

https://youtu.be/GazE8PAL-DE
18. Cops. Ok yes I know, subliminally advertising and seeing them arrest a lot of Black people. Sigh* but that theme song though.

https://youtu.be/pH48FM-8P9I
17. Sister Sister Yes and yes. Wasn’t this show Hella good. Wholesome but edgy, funny but deep. Shout out to Jackeé with her big red carpet. Hahahaha. Roger was Marques Houston. Man they use to dog him. 

https://youtu.be/cTt05xDgzXs
16. Hanging With Mr. Cooper. Oakland very own Mark Curry was Dave’s hero. Oakland Pride was on full display on this. Great cast too. My favorite episode was the “Love match episode” 

https://youtu.be/PIh5tjgMV2k
15. Three’s Company. Man Jack Tripper had it made, right. Hella escapades and hijinks hahahahaha. What about how Mr. Furley was always shocked or upset. Hahahahhahaha. 

https://youtu.be/h-mi0r0LpXo
14. Cheers, is filmed on front of a live studio audience. Nobody ever got a DUI huh? “Woody give me a beer!” 

https://youtu.be/8vbnLYROCj8
13. Perfect Strangers. Man I miss this show. 

https://youtu.be/TbjPNP3c7Bs
12. Punky Brewster. Remember the doll though??

https://youtu.be/hSrXupUlA_Q
11. The Wonder Years. I love the narrative of Old Kevin narrating throughout the show. Remember his whiny ass girlfriend, Winnie? And his nerdy pal, Paul? 

https://youtu.be/cS_lD9_Ur3g
10. Ghostwriter. I had a crush on Gaby. This was the first time, I learned what a Bodega was. I always had a composite notebook. RALLY TO

https://youtu.be/gpH_PIqT-q8
9. That’s So Raven. “You can gaze into the future” Man Raven Symone had so much potential to be wifey. Sigh. This was my favorite Disney show. 

https://youtu.be/M9z9FcCRj3s
8. Muppet Babies. So tell me, why they never showed Nanny’s face? My favorite was animal, he reminds me of my oldest son Naszir now. Hahaha

https://youtu.be/LBIgXhiOpeQ
7. Magnum P.I. I mean just look at Tom Selleck’s prestigious mustache tho! 

https://youtu.be/I0F-IHwgC-Q
6. The People’s Court. Hahahahahahahahahaha. That beat tho?

https://youtu.be/23GrEhLUF_k

5. The Golden Girls. So we gonna act like Blanche and Dorothy wasn’t doing every man they saw? Hahahahahahahaha. 

https://youtu.be/sF7ZY3ycnUE
4. Step by Step. Man Cody was the homie, right? Didn’t you want to live with this family? 

https://youtu.be/GbfVmzF7N4g
3. Knight Rider. Man looking dreamy in the 80s was the business, right? Hahahahaaha. I still want this car though.

https://youtu.be/9BuSUH4vt_I
2. Out of this World. Man who wouldn’t want to freeze time? This show came on right before Mama’s Family. 

https://youtu.be/woJrjb91pW4

https://youtu.be/e-JHfXVlkik
1. Tie: Ducks Tales and Inspector Gadget. Enough explaining, just listen to these amazing theme songs. 

The boys revenge. Daddy’s pettiness falters. Must watch video 

Once again, these little guys out witted their old man. Ok here’s what happened. Yesterday I went grocery shopping. I notice the Doritos were on sale. Unfortunately we had the Safeway select knock off Doritos. Now seeing that I hate wasting food, I tried to switch the chips hoping to trick the boys. Please watch the video below. Thank you for watching and storing by. And remember one of our famous quotes “Autistic or not

https://youtu.be/2IT0sIVc5BI (Click link)

Tareau’s greasiest sistahs of all time.

Finally it is here. I am not holding back either ladies. There are some greasy ladies out there and a greasy lady is not only extra shiny but a low down, back stabbing lady. Please look out for them and do not leave anything around because they might take it from you. Remember these are all jokes and in good fun so don’t be all sensitive, smdh.

10. Taraji Henson

Ok, Taraji is fine and all but I don’t trust her at all. She looks like she would poke holes in ya condom stash. Just Trifilin. 

9. Star Jones

Greasiness comes in different hues and sizes. Yes the same Star Jones who said that she was a certified dime piece on national TV. 😔😔😔. Her weaves be looking like when you run ya fingers through her hair, they feel like caterpillars. Lmfao 

8. Bunny Debarge 

Bunny, you are only on here because you know damn well you look exactly like your brothers in the 80s. I don’t trust you so when I come over your house, I am leaving my wallet hidden underneath your bathroom sink.

7. Missy Elliott 

Missy is the most underrated performer of all time🎶, but y’all know that hefty bag was all greasy and sweaty. Them finger waves were screaming for moisturizer 24/7. 

6. Latoya Jackson

Yes you were greasy Latoya, airing out your family business and being all Glisteny in ya playboy shoots. You know you need to have a hurricane Katrina~esq bath and hibernate in a botanical garden for 2 weeks. Just Trifilin. 


5. Tiffany New York Pollard

Yes she was and don’t try and cover for her. She let her greasiness effect pop culture for a decade now. You see what Flavor Flav did. Hell I could of did the whole list on his contestants hahahaha. And Flav should of been on the Brothas list but oh well. 

4. Gabrielle Union

Cmon Gabe, how you gonna let ya hubby post an after smash session pic of ya greasy, Dirty ass face? You are probably the handsomiest greasiest lady in the history of greasiness. Yes that’s right I went there. 

3. Grace Jones

Ok you have broken a lot of barriers Ms. Jones and a really a legend but why do you look like you profusely sweet oil of olay?? Don’t tell me it’s lights or makeup, she is always greasy. Especially on boomerang.

2. Daphene Maxwell Reid

Tim Reid your wife is a goddess when it comes to the grease business. Yes she is. Never liked her. She is not Aunt Viv. Just look at her evil face all shiny and mean looking. Smdh.

*******DRUMROLL PLEASE********

1. Robin Givens

You guys know why. Gold digger, greasy, ugly, mean, all of that. She would make the perfect evil villian in movies because of permanent scowl she wears so proudly. Lmfao.

There were several ladies I left off *cough Rihanna cough* but hey its my list. Please who would you add or subtract from this list. Tell us. If you are in a grumpy or sad mood, I hope this post made u smile, even for a Lil bit. 

Tareau’s 20 favorite video games (no sports games)

You ready? You are not ready for another list! Wait! Are you?? Ok let’s get right into it. As usual you may be dissapointed because I don’t follow the status quo. (In other words, I’m the worst type of person) hahahahaha. Contra, Kid Chameleon, Bonks Adventure, Kirby, Dizzy, Bugsy, Tiny Toons, Zombies Ate My Neighbors, F-Zero, Tekken 2, Jam & Earl, Tetris, Mike Tysons Punch Out, Altar Beast, Call of duty, Socom, Fallout, Gears of War, Doom, Duke Nukem, Final Fantasy etc, all did not make it. (And 100s of more, Im talking bout you Mario Paint on SNES) Meh. I don’t care. My list my rules. Let’s get it.

 

20. Super Mario 3. Nintendo

I did not care for Super Mario 1, due to the fact that on Level 8-4, I could not remember the pattern to get to King Koopa. And don’t even get me started on Super Mario 2, being a dumb dream and all. Nintendo gave me hope in the Mario series with a flying raccoon. I love that after 80,000 points you can play the N spade memory game.

screenshot_20161005-135849

19. Paperboy  Sega

Remember back when every American boy wanted a paper route, to pay for BB guns and slingshot? Awwww yes the good ole days. Paperboy was hilarious because you could either play conservative and safe or you could play the Tareau Barron way which was reckless. That punk ass black cat that would chase you. Meowwwww. I would love throwing papers at him. I never beat paperboy, have any of you guys ever beat it?

screenshot_20161005-135611screenshot_20161005-135553

18. Sim City 2000 PC

Yes the nerd in me is out. I would spend hours trying to play God and create the perfect city. I would cheat honestly by entering the word “FUND” in 3 times then by doing the tax code at the end of the fiscal year. This was fun and you wasn’t cool if you played this in my day. Try causing a natural disaster to your metropolis and rebuilding your city.

screenshot_20161005-135015

17. Crash Bandicoot PS1.

My sister had a PS1 and when this first came out she would let me play it. We loved the Tiki masks and the announcer saying “buddamaka” or something similar to that. Favorite level was riding that stupid pig. Crash was an innovative game due to its graphics.

screenshot_20161005-135759

 

16. Battletoads Double Dragon.

Ok so who remembers on Double Dragon 1 when the bad guys slapped that girl and you had to kick their asses for doing that? Classic. I played this game for the first time at Blockbusters Video on Bay St. here in the city. (Which is now a 24 hour fitness) They had a video game tournament and I lost to this punk ass kid named Andy. Anyways this game had multiple power ups and fighting to cure your anger. Dam that Andy. Grrrrrr.

screenshot_20161005-134941screenshot_20161005-134923

15. Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk

OK I was not a big Michael Jackson fan but this game was awesome. Nothing says American gaming like a suspicious pop star saving little white girls. Lmfao MICHAEL. Hahahahahahah.

 

screenshot_20161005-135456

14. Super Metroid SNES

1995 was a tough year for me. My aunt stole my SNES and this was the only game that got me through that rough time of living in the crack infested projects. For me it was fascinated playing as Samus and navigating through an unknown planet. My cousin (thanks Janine) gave me her SNES and games and the first thing I did was traded in all my baseball cards to buy Super Metroid again. Awwww sentimental memories. Bonus points for those of you who beat the game in under 2 hrs and got to see Samus in a bathing suit.😉

Screenshot_20161005-135110.jpg

13. Turtles in Time SNES

My toes! My toes! Hell yea did anybody else play this game in the arcades too? You notice most of my games are similar. Action/RPG, power ups, save something or somebody at the end. My favorite level on this game is when you have to throw the foot soldiers on off of the screen at Shredder. I would always choose Donatello. Bow staff powers fool.

Screenshot_20161005-134844.jpg

12. Mortal Kombat Trilogy PS1

It was hard to just pick one Mortal Kombat so I took the easy way out by picking this one. A plethora of characters with over 10 mins of fatalities. Who would get bored of playing this game? Do you remember the cheat code to get Chameleon? Good Times. Finish Him!

screenshot_20161005-150232screenshot_20161005-150259

11. Hitman Blood Money PS2

My homie Jose introduced me to Hitman back in the early 2000s. It was Hitman 2 to be exact and our favorite level was Temple City Ambush. I really love how you have to sneak around and be quiet in order to get a silent assassin rating in these games. Blood Money was cool because there were so many ways of killing your target. True Story, for Hitman Contracts, I was one of the Video Game Testers in 2003/04.

screenshot_20161005-135227screenshot_20161005-135203

10. 007 Golden Eye N64.

Maybe the best shooter ever. Meet me in the caves, with slappers only aND the big head cheat in and we got ourselves a ball game. Best multi-player game ever, right? I hated those folks who picked ODD JOB. Putting proximity mines on armor was my strategy.

Screenshot_20161005-134304.jpg

9. Twisted Metal 2. PS1.

Shout out to Andre (kiddo) for introducing me to this game in 96. Andre’s dad had a splitter that would allow us to play the same game, using 2 different TVs. We would play this for hours. Favorite character was Spectre. His name was Ken Masters. The same name of one of the man characters on my next game on the list.

screenshot_20161005-134720

8. Street Fighter 2 Turbo SNES

Yes Ken from Street Fighter (whose real name is Ken Masters) was my favorite character. I hated using Ryu because well he was Ryu. Hahahahaha. I still remember the code. Down, R, Up, L,Y,B. You would hear the chime to get 10 stars. PS. M. Bison was a cheater.

screenshot_20161005-134637

7. Sonic 2 Sega

Poor Tails. Or Miles if you will. I remember the countless of hours playing this on my cousin’s Sega. Remember supersonic? (19,65,9,17 hold A+ start. 09c, 01c, 04, 06c) get 50 rings and jump. Man I wanna hook up the Sega right now just to hear that music.

screenshot_20161005-135355

6. Mario Kart 64 N64

Sleepovers, staying home all day, Nachos, surround sound, soda, pizza and a nice pillow. That was my early teens. Whoever had this game, I made sure to befriend them. Picking Luigi and mashing on eerybody. Not a typo either. “Eerybody.”

screenshot_20161005-150113screenshot_20161005-150139

5. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City PS2

Yesssss. The 1st game I remember calling into work because it was so addicting. “Hello work, I am sick” Yea sick of having fun playing Vice City. The graphics at the time were impeccable. The brilliant story line with the greatest video game soundtrack ever. Tommy Vercciti is the man.

screenshot_20161005-134605

4. Road Rash PS1 or 3DO

Yes this used to be my favorite video game ever. Beating people up in a motorcycle? Sign me up. Also the Grunge music of Sound Garden played throughout this game. Also had my home town San Francisco as a racing level. Nitrous bikes with a chain. Take that officer O’Leary.

screenshot_20161005-134122

3. Resident Evil 4. PS2

Leon was a savage in this game and I loved the storyline. They had great weapons, scary zombies, great detail, and perplexing puzzles. What could be better?

screenshot_20161005-134231

2. Resident Evil 5.

How about a zombie game in Africa? Where one of the sexiest heroines of all time is Sheva, an African native who guides Chris along the way. This game was controversial due to the imagery of seeing Africans gething killed by a white man and stripped for gold and rubies. I still loved it. Besides my #1 game makes up for all that injustice.

 

screenshot_20161005-134427screenshot_20161005-134528screenshot_20161005-134450

#1 Assassin’s Creed Black Flag: Freedom Crystal Expansion Pack. Xbox 1

I cried playing this game. How cool is that? Yes like tears of liberation went down my face that they actually made a game where you play a former slave who goes around freeing your people. I beat this game in like an hour and even freed the maximum amount of slaves. Wow. Just wow. Never killed something so proudly, that was in a game.

So there we have it folks. You are getting to know Tareau Barron. What would be your list? Please comment and share. Stay thirsty my friends.