Tareau’s top 10 greasiest looking brothas of all time

King Petty AlertThats rightI am some ish on this oneso as a disclaimerif

youre not ready please leaveWe talkin on this oneOhhhhhh YesLot of slang so keep up with me people.
Greasy, Glistening, Sparkly, Shiny, Slick, Conniving, Dirty, Grimy, etc. You see people these gents take the cake. Just looking “guilty”or looking like “you did it” is enough for me to charge you with excessive greasiness. People who fit this criteria don’t know that they are greasy. Hell you might actually be one of them. Hahaha. There’s a few people I left off like Bobby Brown, Easy E, Teddy Riley Kirk Franklin,etc. Greasiness don’t necessarily mean that you’re a bad person. You can just look greasy. Greasiness can be hereditary and it is curable by soaking in a tub full of dawn while washing your draws. Hahahaha. All in jokes folks and you know us black people love to clown. So here’s my list.

10. Rappin 4-Tay

Rappin 4-Tay looks like the kind of cat to steal some money from you, right before he asks you for a dollar. Just Trifilin’ looking y’all. Hide ya wallets.


9. Lionel Richie

Oh Lionel, Ya High Yella Ass is not exempt. You can try and swoon all the ladies but I see through you. So you can take your sly greasiness and go somewhere.

8. Jesse Jackson Sr.

Yea you pug looking, not catching Martin Luther Da Kang Jr, Stealing money from black folks, Conniving, fake ass Mike Epps looking ass. Ohhhh Jesse Jackson is sholl Greasy. He looks like he would give your wife a hug and steal her pearls at the same time. In the words of Cedric the Entertainer in Barbershop “Man F*&$% Jesse Jackson.


7. Bootsy Collins

Yes I’m hating on you Bootsy, you an alright brotha but you look mighty shiny. Hell No you can’t borrow my pillowcase nor a spare toothbrush.

6. Phil Lewis aka TC from the Wayans Bros.
Oh yes, TC was the Grimiest cat in TV history. With his gold teeth and his experienced polyester blends, this cat would flat out sell you your own kids just to ask for child support. Watch out for TC y’all. Looking like he can’t be near an open flame. Hahaha.


5. Clifton Powell aka PINKY NUCCA

Yaaaasssss (I see you Lady G) Pinky is the ultimate hustler. To bad he didn’t take some strides or oxygen pads to that forehead before he decided to leave the house. Ohhhhhh he is Grimy looking. I’m talking bout peeing in the kiddie pool Grimy. Say anotha word Nucca!!


4. David Ruffin

David Ruffin is greasy for so many reasons. Drugs and domestic violence aside, David Ruffin telling the Temptations that they ain’t sh#t without David Ruffin is the most classic line of all time. He looks like he would steal all ya mama’s hair products in the middle of the night, with rollers in his hair still.


3. Ron Isley

OHHH Ron Isley watched R. Kelly pee on that girl, yall know he did. King Swindle at his finest. With his tax evading, hot comb using, fake preacher having self. Just Trifilin. Man stay away from him. Lmfao Mr. Big is gonna find you.


2. Rick James

Any cat with a cigarette hanging out they mouth fits the above criteria. We all know Rick’s antics so we will just skip to #1.


#1. Jermaine Jackson 

No one will ever out Glisten Jermaine. He takes greasy to the moon with his clay like, molded, tickle me Elmo sweater wearing, not showering but just spraying on some brut, having ass. Yes he needs to be power washed, chisled with a jack hammer and rubbed down in some downy dryer sheets  Just greasy. You can just smell his leathery, botox, fake plastic self from this side of the smartphone. Y’all better not be looking at this with A Galaxy Note 7 because u just might blow up. Hahahahhaahahahahah

So there you have it folks. Tune in next time for the Grimiest ladies of all time. Ohhhhhh huh Who will make the list

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30 comments

  1. Tareau,
    God don’t like ugly but Lady G do…hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
    I laughed my ass off!
    This was hilarious!
    But you know what killed me?
    That damned forehead trickery Jermaine Jackson is pulling!
    WTF?
    ROTFLMAO!!!!!
    Now I get the picture—-greasy negros calling my phone!!!!
    Stop calling me!!!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Dog I am rolling right now lmaooooooooo

    All these dudes looking like we went to war in Iraq over their face n shit. Lmao @ Ronald Isley and Lionel Richie.

    Look at Jermaine Jackson’s hairline lmaooo. You HAVEEEEE to do a top 10 hurt hairline list bro

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HILARIOUS! The David Ruffin commentary was my favorite. And Ron’s eyebrows, my goodness!

    I don’t think I’ve ever read such a well put together list of the most greasy! All these guys have paved the oily path for Ginuwine + K-Ci from Jodeci to make the next round.
    Thanks for the laughs!

    Liked by 2 people

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